As we’re raising our kids, we go through all these different cycles. And right as we get comfortable, nope, here comes the next one! This week, we’re talking about the solar plexus chakra and letting go of control.
In our house right now, we’re shifting into the preteen era. Every week, it feels like our kids come home asking for something new. Can I have this? My friends are doing this. Can I do this? And I’m over here like, whoa, slow down the train, because mama is getting queasy.
This is new territory for us, too
My husband and I weren’t raised with the internet in our pockets. So when our kids ask for something we never went through, I’ve started being honest with them: “I’m not saying no, but I’m feeling a little uneasy. My spirit needs a moment to think about this.”
Not saying no right away gives me space to tune in. It also shows my kids that we’re figuring this out together.
The solar plexus chakra: where control lives
This episode continues our chakra series with the solar plexus chakra, your third chakra. It sits just above your belly button, it’s connected to the color yellow, and it’s your center of personal power. It’s that gut feeling, that true spirit.
When I think about control, I feel it right there. It’s holding the reins tight, trying to be the perfect parent and raise the perfect kids. And you guys, that’s fear.
So I invite you to look inward:
- Is there a piece of me that needs control right now?
- Is my child truly not ready, or am I the one who’s not ready?
- Does this come from my inner child, from a time when I wasn’t allowed to be in control?
Structure without control
Of course, kids thrive with structure. They like knowing how the day works. But when they put a foot out to test the water and we shut it down every time, that light starts to dim.
In fact, Dr. Lisa Miller’s research at Columbia University suggests that children are born spiritually connected. So let’s keep them connected into adulthood, instead of helping them reconnect later.
And those strong-willed kiddos? That stubbornness is the very thing that’s going to carry them through the hard things later, like a dream university or grad school. We don’t want to break it by trying to control it.
Be the training wheels
I once told my son, “My job is to be your training wheels. You steer. You’re leading the way. When you start to fall over, I’m here as backup.” Some days they won’t need us, and then some days they’ll strap those training wheels back on. That’s the dance.
Try this
The next time your child asks for something, don’t react right away. Instead, put one hand on your stomach, take a couple of deep breaths, and see what you’re guided toward. (A bathroom or closet break totally counts!)
Affirmation
Left hand on your solar plexus, right hand on your heart:
“Thank you, universe, for giving me the opportunity to find in myself where I feel control, to help me release this control, so I can follow along where my child needs to go. I believe in them, and I believe in me. And so it is.”
Keep listening
Episode 113
Episode 112
Spirit to spirit, I see you, parents. Thank you for coming along on this journey.
If this episode spoke to you, please share it with a parent who needs it. And if you have a minute, leave a review on Apple Podcasts. It helps more families find the show, especially the parents who feel alone on this journey.
Come say hi on Instagram @thespiritualparent, and when you’re ready for more, find every episode on the podcast page.
With love,
Carrie
This episode and post are for educational and inspirational purposes only. They are not medical or mental health advice, so please reach out to a qualified professional for care.